Catalyst

Posts Tagged ‘life observations’

King David eulogized his fallen predecessor Saul, with the mournful words, “how have the mighty fallen.” Not all fall of a battlefield wound. Some suffer from the mortal wound of a damaged reputation.

As the ball dropped in Times Square on New Year’s Eve 2008, Tiger Woods was a commanding figure. He was the professional golf tour. Tournaments he played gained attention (and money). His endorsement deals were stratospheric. He was the boy next door, the polite and polished young man with a beautiful wife and cute kids.

Then came the wreck, followed by the hushed calls on a cell phone to a woman who turned out to be a mistress. Then came the revelations of more and more women. The image gave way to history and his reputation sank as easily as one of his putts.

The question is always the same. How can someone with so much talent, fame, and money do something like that? Some have said it was arrogance. Some blamed the spotlight. Others mentioned his father’s death. No one really knows the true answer.

Yet, the sad saga of Tiger reminds everyone of one simple truth–your reputation is fragile. It is built over a lifetime and can be crushed in a moment.

How do you protect your reputation?

Know what you really want to be. If you don’t intend to be that, don’t kid yourself. Be genuine and transparent. Too many people want an image. Strive for more than a cardboard cutout of a character. Have character.

Constantly evaluate self. It’s easy to drift off course. Take time to peer into the mirror of your own soul. If you can’t be honest with yourself, find someone who won’t try to preserve your feelings. You need the honest feedback.

Live transparently. Someone has said, “conduct your life in such a way to make any accusation sound ridiculous.” The only way to do that is to be open and honest in actions, thoughts, and dealings.

Confess and change. Confession is not just “sorry.” It’s not a statement of others misunderstanding. It is what you did, admission, specific, facing the music. Don’t gloss over. It requires a bigger person to admit exactly what he did than to hid behind excuses.

Whether Tiger will ever come back is left to be seen. But sometimes the best lessons are learned from bad examples. Take good care of your reputation because you may never get it back.

Sometimes your life just needs a good “kick” to get it moving. It happened to me at age 45.

That’s a little old to start something like karate classes, but I got the yen to try it. I went to a local karate school and asked about classes. After several seconds of strange looks (like I was had four noses on my face), the teenager at the desk said that the appropriate class met on Tuesday night.

When Tuesday came, I went back to the school, enrolled and looked around at the rest of the class. The next youngest student in the oldest class was 16 years old! Here I was, a graying middle-aged man in a sea of limber, energetic teenagers.

I stretched, hurt, exerted, and sweated. I’m sure I was a sight! I even cracked a rib trying to do a flip that I would do poorly at age 8.

Why would anyone put themselves in such a terribly difficult and embarrassing situation?

I needed the challenge. Routines are both effective and deadening. I needed routine to keep my life together, but I needed a new set of experiences to stir my thinking and my body. Karate had a discipline element in it so it fit with much of my personality. When you do something different, you become something different. Take the challenge to be different.

But the serendipity was that it influenced others. A father brought his 10 year old to the class and watched weekly. He witnessed a crazy grown-up trying to act like a child. (I’m sure there were plenty of snickers.) After about 2 months, he enrolled in class. We struck up a conversation and he told me that he was afraid of looking foolish. He wanted to do something with his son and this was the avenue. He explained that watching me gave him the courage to take classes. I never intended to influence anyone, but all action is on display for examination by others. You never know who you will touch.

I took classes for four months, earning (yes, earning!) an orange belt. I moved to a new job and had to leave the class. But the experience was priceless. While I did a lot of kicking, it got a real “kick” out of the class.

While karate might not be your “kick,” find something that will make you “kick” up your heels!

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life by Donald Miller

If they made a movie from the story of your life, would you buy a ticket?  Would it even make it to DVD on the “cheap shelf?

For Donald Miller, his adventure into writing a screenplay based on his life taught him one thing–his life was boring. He needed to find a story and develop a character. His book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years takes a Picassoesque approach to the pursuit of meaning in life and creating a better life story.

Miller’s book reads like a rafting trip on a river. It starts slow, picks up speed, and then pumps adrenalin through your heart. When Miller describes life, you find him slipping into your shoes. The routine is familiar. He explains why we sit on comfortable couches, eating chips and mindlessly drinking sodas. We enjoy the comfort but want something more. So the reader follows him as he kayaks down a river to meet a man named Bob. (You want to meet your own Bob one day.) You pant as you make your way up a Peruvian hillside. You feel the ache in your calves as you pedal cross-country with him.  More than that, you feel the tears that comes from living a genuine life.

Miller aptly points out that character comes from overcoming obstacles. Most Americans seek to avoid obstacles. Is that why character slips a little more each day? All need to write an epic story with their life. Try great things. Challenge yourself. Pour yourself out for others. Then you have something worthy of epic.

I came away from Miller’s book with more than appreciation. It sparked a small flicker of desire for more than the routine. His masterful weaving of story blew the embers into flame to be more genuine, more daring, and more creative. Whether I ever bike across America or plant a tree in the Sub-Sahara, I will let Donald Miller have a key to my home any time. He is always welcome.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life is published by Thomas Nelson Publishers and is available online and at bookstores.